1.22.2012

If Programming Languages Were Types of Music

Thanks to the classic If Programming Languages Were Religions for the inspiration. Actually, it turns out there are a bunch of If Programming Languages Were X things out there.

Assembly would be scales: They're the foundation that all music is based on.



Fortran would be a Gregorian Chant: Ancient and methodical, but still sung occasionally in certain dark places.



C would be Bach: Almost all modern music is based on Bach in one way or another. The music can be pretty elaborate, but if you break it down, it's actually pretty straightforward.



C++ would be Beethoven: To the untrained ear, it sounds just like Bach -- classical and easy to listen to. But once you start listening more closely, it's actually a lot more complicated than most people realize.



Java would be The Beatles: Familiar to almost everyone, simple and uncontroversial, though as time went on, they started adding more stuff to their act and getting a little weirder.





BASIC would be kids music: Everyone liked it when they were younger, but no one takes it seriously once they start listening to anything else.



JavaScript would be Lady Gaga: Everyone knows her hits and thinks they can play them even if they're not a musician, but few know how talented she really is.



Perl would be The Ugliest Piece of Music Ever Written: You're required to make fun of Perl when you write a post like this, right? (Skip to 7:45 if you just want to hear the song.)




Python would be OK Go: You watch them occasionally on YouTube, but you would never listen to a full album from them.




Haskell would be Radiohead: You've heard them a few times, but you've never really understood what they're singing about, or what their fans are talking about.



Ruby would be electronic music: It's not bad or anything, but fans of electronic music act like it's the best music in the world, and rarely listen to anything else. Most people don't see what the big deal is.



Edit: Thank you to commenter Mike for this one: Lisp would be Jazz: It was a big deal when it came out and supposedly it still has a big following, but you can't name a single person who likes it.

I apologize if I left out your favorite programming language. It's either because I'm not familiar with it, or I couldn't think of a good musical analogy. Leave a comment and let me know what type of music it would be.

6 comments:

lee b said...

Very nicely done! Hm..what kind of music would Smalltalk be. Something simple, few-ness of concepts, yet very powerful. Maybe "piano music"?

lee b said...

I posted this to our company internal network, and someone replied: "Totally agree on Ruby, my rubyist friends listen to electronic only."

:)

Anonymous said...

Lisp would be a scratched record, repeating over and over?

Jax said...

Love it.

Mike said...

I think Lisp would be Jazz; it was a big deal when it came out and supposedly it still has a big following, but you can't name a single person who likes it.

caddguru said...

Whatever LISP might be, it would have to rhyme with Lost In Stupid Parentheses ;-)